So Why DOES Timothy Have Dread Locks?

I have been asked this question many times and we have gotten "the look" countless more and the simple answer is: because it is his hair! But the truth underneath that answer is a bit more complicated. Timothy has had an aversion to getting his hair cut all the way back to the first time. I have been covered in cut hair more times than I care to remember because he had to sit on my lap for the hair cuts. He has eaten his body weight in hair-covered lollipops in failed attempts to appease him. He has shed lots of tears. I have shed lots of tears. Why go through all of that you ask? Because, "the boy needs a haircut". Because he has crazy hair that looks better cut. Because I wanted to be a good mother and at that point in time for me that meant to have good looking kids. We have also shed many a tear over hair brushing. Timothy has course, boofy, tangle-prone hair so brushing has always been rocky. As his hair got longer, as the hair cuts got fewer and farther between, the more tangles came.

After a horrible, horrible hair cutting attempt over a year ago, I finally came fully to my senses.

I have been slowly getting there, but this was the proverbial straw. No more hair cuts. I didn't care how long his hair got. I vowed to not cut it again until he asked. Letting go of brushing took me a while longer. For the record, Timothy has not once ever wanted his hair brushed.

Ever. I have tried everything. Conditioner, detangler, bribes, silly songs and even harsh

words. All in an attempt to tame his hair. What I hadn't tried is letting go. Letting go of my own need to control what is his. One day, I finally had total clarity. It's just HAIR! I have been slowly breaking my child's spirit, year after year, so I could feel good about the way he looked. What was I teaching him? That his desires around his own body didn't matter? That only what I wanted him to be was important? I even told him once that he should brush his hair because other people might think badly of him. You know what he told me? "Mom, you said that we shouldn't care about what other people think". There you have it. Words of wisdom coming from my then 6 year old. He's right you know. Now none of us care what his hair looks like, what we care about is that Timothy is happy and secure in himself (in spite of us!).